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Interesting quote

  • May. 20th, 2009 at 3:08 PM
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Thou shalt not be a victim.
Thou shalt not be a perpetrator.
Above all, thou shalt not be a bystander.
             ~Holocaust Museum, Washington DC
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It was inspirational. It was awesome. I have never seen such a gathering of intelligent, witty, passionate and knowledgable women in my life, and if you had told me just two months ago that such a gathering is possible, that there are 1,414 women in Singapore who will willingly spend their entire Saturday holed up in a cold convention hall where only water is provided simply to kick out a bunch of Christian fundamentalists who thought that they will be able to successfully pull off a take-over of a secular NGO, I would have laughed in your face.

This is not a bunch of ladies who lunch and chat politely and quietly about how to do good over tea and scones, it is a bunch of ladies who have learnt how to fight for their rights, to stand their ground, to defend their turf, to bang tables and demand to be heard. It is a bunch of women who understood whether instinctively or through bitter experience that to "SHUT UP & SIT DOWN" will not get you anywhere. And if in the process, they were told off for being "rude" or acting like "hooligans", well, so be it. I did not, and I am sure most of the women in that hall did not, get to their current position in life as independent knowledgeable women, by being meek and subservient.

The Christian fundamentalists were simply outclassed. They were out-organised (what on earth happened to the red-shirts mid-way through the EGM, only the white-shirts remained to keep the crowd under control), out-prepared (one self-declared "Feminist Mentor" whose claim to the title is her being cited on page 73 of a book on outstanding women, and one research paper on the superiority of abstinence over condom use by some academic in Utah of all places does not good preparation make) and out-voted (what happened to the busloads of bible-toting ladies?). Women who spent their lives fighting inequality whether it is for themselves or for women in general, women who never joined AWARE previously but whose lives have been touched by AWARE, women who refused to allowed the name of Christianity to be sullied by the actions of a gang of bullies, women who believed in the importance of a secular state for a diverse community, women whose inate sense of fairness has been offended. All these women turned up, and queued for hours, first to get into the meeting hall, and later to get to the sole microphone to give the Christian fundamentalists a sound dressing-down. The depth of knowledge and experience these women represented - lawyers, academics, NGO activists, event organisers, students, social workers - is breathtaking. Collectively they knew so much about feminism, the fight for equality, comprehensive sexual education, activism, social issues etc etc - listening to them speak at the microphone was like having a crash course in civil society work. I think even the Old Guard were surprised at how many of us turned up - as one of them said, you gals came out from the woodwork, we don't know where you came from. The new Exco, inexperienced, unable to defend their views or (with the exception of Josie Lau who earned respect for keeping her cool under relentless fire)  even to maintain their composure, did not have a chance.

We Singaporeans always mock ourselves for being apathetic. On 2 May 2009, we have proved ourselves wrong.
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AWARE Saga (Cont'd)

  • Apr. 30th, 2009 at 10:24 PM
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I had previously, in one of my earlier posts, said that Christians should speak up against Christian fundamentalists. You can imagine how grateful I am to find blogs by Christians who condemn the behaviour of the Christian fundamentalists who took over AWARE. Right now, a Christian by the name of Gwee Li Shui has posted a note on Facebook setting out his views on why Christians should object to the behaviour of Christian fundamentalists in the AWARE saga, and generating hundreds of responses - I thought I'll repost it here.

Christians in Singapore, please read this ... )

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AWARE Saga (Cont'd)

  • Apr. 30th, 2009 at 9:16 PM
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I was having drinks with a friend and we were discussing the AWARE saga - and as things now stand in the saga, we started talking about the role of woman in the family and Christianity (disclosure: I am an atheist, she is a Christian). And I remembered something I once read in the Bible (a long time ago when I read and re-read the Bible day after day) - there was a passage that I particularly like because it spoke about the role of a woman. I did a search when I came back and realise it is Proverbs 31:10-31.

Who can find a virtuous woman ... )

I find that I still like this passage on re-reading it. It portrays a woman who is independent, skilled, hardworking and resourceful. Very much what a modern woman still aspires to be.

My friend also mentioned a passage in Tales of Narnia that she felt was very insightful as to just what is a true Christian. I just looked it up in my copy of The Complete Chronicles of Narnia and I think (we were drinking at that time yah?) the passage she referred to is this:

 
If any man does a cruelty in my name, then though he says the name Aslan, it is Tash whom he serves ... )
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AWARE Saga (Cont'd)

  • Apr. 28th, 2009 at 6:57 PM
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The picture that is emerging in the AWARE saga is one where a bunch of Christian fundamentalists have basically worked themselves up into a hysteria over how AWARE is portraying homosexuality in a neutral rather than negative light (doesn't this sound absurd on its face alone?) and instead of clarifying the issue with AWARE itself, or making complaints to the Ministry of Education or the schools where AWARE has conducted programmes, or even writing to the press, decides to organise a coup and take over AWARE. Brilliant, and then have the cheek to ask what Singapore is coming to?

By the way, I don't condone death threats, BUT I do find it rather interesting that only Christian fundamentalists making hate speeches or conducting coups get death threats. Or so they claim. Is there any way we can check whether police reports have actually been filed?
 
 
Response from MOE (Emphasis added) )</div></div>
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AWARE Saga (Cont'd)

  • Apr. 26th, 2009 at 1:56 AM
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I usually disagree with Chua Mui Hoong of the Straits Times. Heck, I disagree with the Straits Times on a lot of things. But this time round, this time, I am with her on the points raised in her article. For once, I honestly hope that her views reflect the views of the government. And I say this as an atheist and as a woman who still has fond memories of her church-going days.

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AWARE Saga (Cont'd)

  • Apr. 25th, 2009 at 1:45 PM
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So the cat is finally out of the bag. Or as [info]mrsbudak quoting someone said "The Sith Lord has finally come out of the woodwork."

The takeover of AWARE is an organised coup by a group of Christian fundamentalists (I am not even going to call them conservatives anymore) who believe that their way is the only right way and everyone else is wrong. 

Blogging about religion is always a rather risky business in Singapore, given how sensitive we are about the potential for religious dissent. However, I think it is time that we all buck up - if we can tell members of the Islamic faith to stand up and speak up against Muslim fundamentalists, I really do not see why we can't say the same about the Christians (or for that matter, the Buddhists and the Hindus and the Jews etc etc).

I don't think I am being unreasonable - all I am asking for is respect - respect for the human race in all its diversity. I suspect that my own personal views on many things will be considered conservative in nature, but what draws a bright shining line between me and fundamentalists is that I respect that there are other people, some in circumstances that I cannot even begin to imagine, who thinks differently or choose courses of action that I do not condone for myself. And I accept that, because I am in no position to tell another person with respect to his or her own actions affecting himself or herself, what is right and what is wrong. I accept that the world is imperfect, and to pretend otherwise is simply to live in an ivory tower that does nobody any good.

AWARE is a secular NGO that promote gender equality, furthering women's rights. Is a lesbian not a woman? Is an abused wife not a woman? Is a teenage girl with an unwanted pregnancy not a woman? Is a divorced woman not a woman? Is a single woman not a woman? Is a single mother not a woman? Is it fair to a young girl struggling with her sexuality to keep her ignorant of means of birth control? Can you, as a women rights group, pretend that there are no lesbians, no single mothers in Singapore? Is there only one way to be a good woman, a good human? Is there only one way to lead a good life? Good by whose standards anyway? And who are you to judge?

The AWARE EOGM is taking place on 2 May 2009. I am asking all women of Singapore (men can't vote sorry), please, register as members of AWARE, and turn up to vote on that day. I am not asking that you vote for any one side. I am asking that you come and listen and vote according to your convictions and your beliefs.  AWARE is the most prominent woman rights group we have in Singapore with the ability to influence legislation. It needs to representative of us, not of only one interest group. Christians (including Catholics) form less than 15% of our population, which means Christian fundamentalists form a much less significant proportion of that. Why should they speak for us, or act in our name?

Even if you are apathetic and think that this does not concern you, chew on this poem that has been making its rounds around the internet lately:

Give these fundamentalists an inch, and where will you and your children be in ten years time?
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The AWARE Saga

  • Apr. 21st, 2009 at 8:09 PM
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One of the good things that have come out of the on-going leadership tussle at AWARE - I have never ever seen so much discussion among my friends and colleagues about the role of women and the role that NGOs such as AWARE should play in Singapore society, and how this interfaces with religion. 

Personally, I think that one's religious convictions is just that, personal and no one's business but her own (with an important caveat carved out for persons who think that terrorism and mass murder are accepted means of practising their religion). Christian conservatives have as much right as any other person to run for office in any organisation, including AWARE. Similarly however, I expect Christian conservatives to adhere to the fundamental principles of the organisation they are participating in as much any other person. A Buddhist who joins a church with a view to converting its members to Buddhism is acting in bad faith, to put it mildly. And ditto for persons who seek to join a secular organisation with a view to changing it to one that advances a religious agenda.

Thus far, I have not found anything that the new Exco has published or issued regarding its agenda. Given how its members have in effect, staged a power-grab, I find it rather curious that the new Exco is unable, until now, put forward its plans for AWARE. I want to know where the new Exco stands on a host of issues because these directly impact on the programmes that AWARE has been running, including its views on:
  1. work-life balance;
  2. sexual harrassment in the workplace; and
  3. family planning (including abortion and use of contraceptives).
I consider the whole anti-gay hysteria to be a bit of a red-herring. As far as I am aware (pardon the pun), AWARE has never actively championed gay rights, save for its endorsement of the (ultimately failed) campaign to repeal section 337A of the Penal Code (which criminalise gay sex). There are individuals in AWARE who champion gay rights, but as far as I know, they have never succeeded in pushing this agenda through AWARE. And that brings me back to my original point, I really don't care whether the Exco members include gay activists or Christian conservatists, so long as their personal agenda are not imposed onto a secular NGO whose stated mission is to advance gender equality.

The new Exo is legitimately elected under the constitution of AWARE, and while the background of the Exco collectively gives rise to questions, I am of the view that we need to give this Exco a chance to explain its agenda (which it has not) before blindly casting our vote to throw them out. I am hoping that such a chance will arise at the EGM on 2 May, but until then, I will reserve my vote as an AWARE member. I need to know more.
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Gov. Palin Cold Open

  • Oct. 19th, 2008 at 10:05 AM
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Probably the one good thing I can say for Sarah Palin - she has a healthy sense of fun! :-)

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US Presidential Elections - Palin

  • Oct. 2nd, 2008 at 1:12 PM
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OK, there is sufficient coverage, both online and offline regarding Palin but this, this really really turns me off big time.

I do not consider myself a single-issue voter but ultimately, I believe in choice. In other words, while I personally may not care for abortion, or gay people, or marriage or religion, I care about having the freedom to choose. Choose to abort a child or have a child, choose to have a life-long partner of the same or different gender, choose to get married, stay single or in a long-term relationship, choose to believe in the existence of a supreme being or many, or none, as the case may be. We are in a diverse society, where people of different values live together, the least we can do is to respect those differences. In the context of Singapore, the best analogy I can draw is this - my vote may not matter because I am in the minority, but my ability to cast that vote (as opposed to sitting pretty due to a walkover) is important to me.  

And it is sick that anybody in any position of authority can say that a rape victim or an incest victim should not have the freedom to abort a child from the crime. I really don't care that a person takes that position - if that person is a victim and decides that to keep the child, good for her. But I care if that person tries to impose that view on everyone else, I'll object. And if I can, I'll make sure that person never reaches a position of authority that allows him or her to impose such views on the rest. And if that person is a she, then, even more so, shame on her. If that is sexist, so be it.
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A Daughter's Success

  • May. 17th, 2006 at 1:28 AM
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I was getting my daily dose of the NY Times today when I saw this article by op-ed contributor Deborah Tannen dated 15 May 2006, and the following words struck a chord:

Once, after my [parents] visited me in Washington, I walked them to their car and waved as it receded down the street. When they got home, she called to tell me not that she'd enjoyed the visit, but that it broke her heart to see me standing alone as they drove away.

I, too, had had a fleeting sense of sadness as I stood alone waving goodbye. But that wasn't the only feeling I had, and it didn't last long. I loved my little house; I loved working in its quiet; I loved everything about the life I led as a professor. My mother's remark implied that marriage trumped all. It seemed to dismiss everything I'd accomplished, reframing my life as pitiable. By a strange alchemy, my small sadness became her big misery, which became my anguish and then my anger.

My parents consider a successful life for their daughter to be one where she is married, with children, a HDB flat (upgrading to private housing in a few years) and a car, with a regular nine-to-five job. What I consider to be a successful life is one where I am financially independent, with a job that stimulates and challenges me and which I enjoy, and yet leaving sufficient leisure time for me to pursue my varied and diverse interests. I love children, but nobody has yet convinced me that the joy of bringing up children outweighs the cost. If I meet Mr Right, good, if I don't, well, you can't miss what you never had.

My parents and I had numerous exchanges over this difference in out-look, which started shortly after I graduated from university, increasing in intensity as the years go by. And after each exchange, I go away with the feeling that Ms. Tannen has expressed so well - that at the end of the day, I will never really be successful in my parents' eyes because I am unmarried.

This of course begs the question - just how important is my parents' views to my own sense of self-worth? Important enough, I'll say - for it to have an impact on my happiness and sense of well-being. Even though I know that they are being unreasonable and illogical, I cannot help but feel guilty for not giving them what they want - it is as if I have failed them in some way. And this leads to anger - anger at myself to allow myself to be so badly affected by my parents' out-dated beliefs, and anger at my parents for failing to understand and impotence in knowing that they may never understand.

We are, in most of Singapore at least, long past the days when girls are considered worthless burdens who must be married off as soon as possible (Still, it exists - years ago, one of my father's business associates apparently asked my father when he allowed me to attend university since I am just a girl - I pity his daughter if he has any). But subtle distinctions remain - my parents had, on more than one occasion, wished aloud that I was a son, and not a daughter. They'll sleep better if I am a son, they said, as they will not worry as much when I went off on my madcap adventures. And I just do not understand, why this fixation on daughters getting married, what about the sons?

I am not against the institution of marriage - I have female friends who became visibly happier and contended after they found their Mr. Right, got married and settled down. I am really happy for them. All I am saying is that I should not be judged, especially by my parents, by this sole criterion. Life is tough - we all try to live a rich and fulfilling life, but there are always trade-offs. Many people I know trade off a potentially high-flying career for a rich family life. They are taking a risk - divorce is not uncommon anymore. I'm taking the risk that if I pursue my dreams, I may never have a family life outside of the one my parents had created for me, but if my dreams come true - can I be said to be any less successful than a person who has a happy marriage?

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I read an article on the New York Times a while ago, about daughters giving up high-powered careers to stay at home to look after their aging parents. I am not reproducing the article for copyright reasons.
 
The article made me think - not least because I am putting the pursuit of my dreams on hold while sorting out family problems. Ostensibly, the women interviewed in the article are happy and willing to make such a choice - but being a woman who is putting the pursuit of my dreams on hold while sorting out family problems myself, I think that their feelings are probably far more complex than that.
 
On on hand, it is true that these women are happy - happy to be able to get out from the daily grind of the workplace, where (especially in office jobs) a person's job can seem meaningless (pushing paper, dealing with irate clients who make you think that the world will end in an explosion if you do not respond yesterday etc), happy to have time to themselves instead of being chained to the desk.
 
However, the loss of economic independence must be dreadful, particularly to a single woman. Think about this - a single woman with a good career if she is wise, will probably never "want" for anything she cannot really afford - there are probably no mortgages or car loans to pay, and no children to educate, feed and entertain. She can go overseas on holidays without taking into consideration children's exams and holidays, purchase that expensive LVMH handbag without too much effort and stay out late clubbing if that is her inclination. All of these are financed by her income. Of course, she should also be aware that she alone is responsible for her old age, and should have made plans accordingly. To give up her economic independence and all the perks sounds horrifying to me, and I am sure they too, feel it.
 
What I am trying to say is - do these women really have a choice when they gave up their careers to be care-givers at home? They may well be the only ones who can be expected to do so - married siblings with their children and various mortgages and loans can hardly be expected to do the same. Such siblings may contribute financially towards the support of their parents (if at all), but they cannot afford to give up their jobs to become full-time care-givers. So the burden falls to the child who is single, who has probably reached an age where she will not marry.  And it is likely to be the female child who ends up with that position, since the older generation to a large extent still believes that a man should always be with a job, but not a woman (makes me wonder what they expect the woman to live on).
 
And the woman in question? She knows that she is probably the only one who can do it, and since she has never set up her own family, she will still be tied quite closely to her parents as compared to her married siblings. The needs of her beloved parents, versus her own dreams and aspirations - what gives? Speaking as a woman brought up in a relatively traditional Chinese family, I have to say that the family will come first. The conflict between her family's requirements and her own dreams and aspirations is one that she probably struggles with daily - and the fact that there is such a conflict will probably result in guilt. The resentment and the anger she feels for having to give up her dreams, the insecurity that comes with not being financially independent, the guilt she has for having such feelings and the genuine love and concern she has for her parents that caused her to do it in the first place - they make a potent brew.
 
At the end of the day - if the woman freely chooses such a life, then good. On the other hand, if the woman made the choice because there are no other acceptable options, then is it the right thing to do - for her and her family? Why should a woman, who may have remained single precisely because she enjoys the freedom from having to support and care for a family, be trapped in a situation she has taken such pains to avoid simply because it is the "correct" thing to do?
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Reflections - Seminars on Iraq

  • Jun. 23rd, 2005 at 10:33 PM
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In the course of approximately two months, I have attended two very interesting seminars on the Iraq war. The first is jointly organized by the University of New South Wales Alumni ("UNSWA") and the Association of Women for Action & Research ("AWARE"). The second is organized by the Attorney-General's Chambers ("AGC") as part of its International Law Speakers Series 2005. The two seminars approached the Iraq war in very different ways. Nonetheless, both brought home the fact that debate about the Iraq war is alive and well in Singapore, despite the silence in the media about Singapore's own position in the war. I am fairly sure that most of us have noticed that the Singapore press has focused its energies on reporting the positions taken by other states and the ongoing debate in other states about the war, but has remained largely silent (since I don't read the papers thoroughly everyday, I can't say absolutely silent, though that is my impression) on such events in Singapore.

Women of Courage Forum by AWARE & UNSWA on 18 May 2005

The Women of Courage Forum attracted my attention as the speakers are two women - one as a journalist for a Indonesian television station, and the second is an Iraqi lady who is the coordinator for UNIFEM's Iraqi programme. The journalist, Ms. Meutyah Hafid was captured by Iraqi forces while sending home news on the situation in Iraq, and was held captive by the Iraqi forces for seven days and six nights. Ms. Basma Alkhateeb lived through the two Gulf Wars, and joined UNIFEM in July 2003 after the fall of the former Iraqi regime.

What was interesting in this forum was that it provided an hitherto hidden glimpse into Iraq that I have not seen in the media, whether in Singapore or otherwise. What was it like to be captured by Iraqi forces and have your very life dependent on the action of your head of state? Ms. Hafid lived through that - she told of how she lived in a cave with her captors, and how electronic devices have to be switched off to avoid the US helicopters above from detecting their hideout (and bombing the cave, killing everyone, hostage and captors alike). She spoke of how over time she grew closer to her captors, as they spoke and interacted in the cave, of her growing apprehension as the Indonesian President stayed silent. Much as I admired her for her courage, however, it dims in comparison with the respect I have for Ms. Basma. After all, Ms. Hafid was a victim of circumstances - she was captured while on overseas assignment in Iraq and her survival was very largely dependent, not on her personal courage, but on geopolitical developments. She is courageous, yes, but it is reactive courage, not pro-active courage.

Ms. Basma, on the other hand, is an Iraqi who actively works to better the lives of Iraqi women in post-Saddam Iraq, putting herself in very real danger from the militants. And she can't go home, because she is at home.  One of the most touching moments of her talk was when she recited the names of female civic workers who had been killed in the line of duty - and she knows them, personally, as friends and as colleagues. What also touched me during her talk was her stories of how Iraqis guarded the schools to ensure that their children can go to school, how they turned out to vote despite the threats, how they tried to ensure that life goes on, despite the sanctions earlier, and the current chaos. She gave a very personal, and very man-in-the-street glimpse into Iraqi society. It is like lifting a curtain for a second, to allow us a glimpse into a hidden world.

International Law: Dead or Alive by AGC on 23 June 2005

This is a more "main-stream" seminar - in that there is nothing very much here that is not discussed in the international media - the legality of the Iraq war, the US's growing disregard for international conventions, laws, treaties and organizations etc. What sets it apart from the usual New York Times, CNN, Fox, BBC columns is that two of speakers on the panel are Singaporeans - Professor Tommy Koh and Mr. Kishore Mahbubani, two Singaporeans with first-hand experience with international political events. The third speaker, who is actually the main speaker, is Professor Philippe Sands QC, an expert in international law. The Iraq war, in this seminar, serves more as an illustration of the points the speakers are trying to make. However, the Iraq war did take up quite a bit of time as it is quite a good example of US actions in recent years.

Professor Sands was basically making two points - first that US had, in recent years, seriously weakened the international regime of the rule of law that was first set up during the Second World War by the US and the UK (Atlantic Charter) by its behaviour, and second, that the UK and US are guilty of carrying out an illegal war in Iraq. The speakers led us through the various UN resolutions on the Iraq situation, the two opinions  prepared by the UK Attorney-General on the legality of war which reached different conclusions, the various legal opinions prepared by the US officials on interrogation practices etc. I am trying to get hold of these documents to read for myself - so far, I have only managed to get hold of the 13 page opinion prepared by the UK AG.

The issues are not merely academic - I for one do not believe that just because the Iraq war has taken place, the legality of the war (or otherwise) is a moot point, which seems to be the position taken by some people. I think there are two ways to approach it. A personal approach is this - yes, in wars people die. It is an unavoidable consequence of going to war. However, there is a difference in losing a loved one who fought on the "right" side, on the moral high ground. It is another to lose someone who died because their leaders wanted war, and did not care whether they had to lie through their teeth to get the war they want. A fine distinction? Perhaps, but nonetheless important and I think, crucial. And the legality of the war, is a very important factor in determining whether we are fighting a "just" or "right" war - because in this type of cases in particular, morality and the law are usually very much aligned (The whole issue of the alignment of law and justice is another whole topic altogether). And in Singapore, this is a very sensitive point - we are not like the US, where the armed forces are made up of career soldiers who actively chose this way of life and can so be expected to live with the consequences. We live in a country where the military draft is very much in force. Our fathers, brothers, cousins, husbands, loved ones can be called upon to fight (and to die) in any war our country is engaged in - can we, just as a matter of self-interest, not sit up and take notice of a war fought on dubious justification, and (in hindsight) entered into with a load of misrepresentation if not outright lies, and not worry, not react, not protest? What if one day, your brother, your husband is sent to a far away land to fight for a war that nobody believes is just or right or legal? Won't it be too late? Or should we simply trust in the wisdom and incorruptibility of our government not to engage in such a foolish endeavour?

The second approach is more high-level. The whole issue is one of establishing undesirable precedents - if a super-power such as the US believes that it can disregard international laws with impunity, what reassurance does that provide the rest of the world other than the assurance that the US will always act benignly and in the best interest of all? And honestly, after recent events, how much assurance is that? As Mr. Mahbubani said, in the past, upholding the rule of law goes hand-in-hand with the US's national interest. With the end of the Cold War, this is increasingly no longer the case. As such, there is an adjustment in the US position with respect to international law, which it sees increasingly as a restraint on its freedom. Now, extrapolating from that - we can assume that the US will only act in the best interest of all when it is in its own particular interest to do so. I am not saying that is morally wrong or whatever of the US to do so - national interest is paramount after all - but what I am saying is that this does not give other nations, none of which are currently in a position to stand up to the US, much reassurance.

A second aspect to this is whether other countries will be bound by the international laws that the US has disregarded? What if one day, Russia, China, Japan, Turkey or Singapore decides that it should too disregard the rule of law and declare war as and when the country in question deems fit? Are we back to the pre-Atlantic Charter era where force is might? And what happens, when, not if, another super-power eventually raises and replace or challenge the US for supremacy? Without the rule of law, what kind of world are we looking at?

I never took international law when I was a student, though I was quite interested - I reasoned that since I am interested, I'll probably will read up on my own. Nonetheless, as an amateur, I think that the international order of the day is dependent to a very large degree on the super-power of the day. The rule of law was put into place by the Americans after the Second World War, replacing the "might is right" and the "balance of power" concepts that governed international relations during European supremacy (let's not go into the discussion of balance of power in the context of the Cold War for the time-being). Now the big boy has decided to change the rules, what can the small boys do?

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