i may be a dreamer, but i hope i'm not the only one...

Merry Xmas!

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 15:00:31 GMT

It is a wonderful Xmas Eve - I slept in and woke up only when it is almost noon. After a leisurely lunch, I picked up my beloved Nikon D90 with its new 50 mm f/1.8 lens, and went out for a solo photography session. I ended up lying underneath a coconut tree by Pasir Ris beach, and I sat there until it started to grow dark, watching the clouds scurry across the skies, the sensuous weaving of the fronds of the coconut leaves above me, accompanied by the soothing melody of waves crashing onshore, interspersed with the laughter of children playing at the playground nearby.

This is life!

Now just before I run off for caroling at the church across the road, I take the opportunity to wish everyone a Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year!!

Straits Times, oh Straits Times ...

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 04:40:35 GMT

I was reading the newspaper headlines from my firm's intranet when I saw this rather intriguing headline - Victim: Scholarship named after S'pore lawyer - and decided to visit the webpage. I got a screen-shot of the webpage which I reproduced below.

When I read it, it sounded to me that a victim (of what I have no idea) has decided to set up a scholarship in honour of a Singapore lawyer (for what reasons again I am not sure), and has made a press statement about his or her act. Only upon reading the full article do I realise that the scholarship is established in memory of the Singapore lawyer who was killed during the Mumbai terrorist attack in 2008.

In other words, the above headline is clearly nonsensical - the victim (the deceased lawyer in this case) has clearly not made any statement, and did not establish any scholarship.

I am not a newspaper editor, neither do I hold any degree in journalism or the English language. However, surely, a newspaper headline is intended to give the reader (at one glance) the gist of the article, and not create confusion instead?

ST - Bridging A Divided History

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 04:23:14 GMT

Not too long ago, I blogged about the teaching of history. And today, in my inbox, I found an interesting article published in the Straits Times (surprise!) and one that is not syndicated from other news agencies (double surprise!). Reproduced below for your reading pleasure.

STRAITS TIMES

Home > Think > Story
Nov 22, 2009
Bridging a divided history
A US team hopes to improve inter-Asian ties by comparing textbook accounts of the past
By Tracy Quek , US Correspondent

Washington - In April 2005, fierce anti-Japanese protests broke out in China.
Triggered in part by Japan's approval of newly revised history textbooks which glossed over the Japanese wartime abuses of six decades ago, the demonstrations were the most provocative upsurge of anti-Japanese unrest China had seen in years.
It was not the first time problems of the historical sort had sparked trouble between the neighbours in North-east Asia.
But researchers at Stanford University's Walter H. Shorenstein Asia-Pacific Research Centre hope that their work will damp down future outbursts and open a path to lasting reconciliation.
Led by director Shin Gi Wook and co-director Daniel Sneider, researchers are completing an ambitious three-year project to examine how the main players in North-east Asia - China, Japan, South Korea and Taiwan - along with the United States, form their views of the past, or what the scholars call 'historical memories'.
Entitled Divided Memories And Reconciliation, the project began in 2007 and is divided into three phases. The first stage involves comparing how shared historical events are depicted in history textbooks of the five societies, as history education plays a crucial role in shaping citizens' perspectives on the past.
The second stage, which began last year, looks at the treatment of the 1931-1951 wartime period in the films of China, Japan, South Korea, Taiwan and the US.
In the third phase, researchers will survey elite opinion makers in China, Japan, South Korea and the US for their views on historical issues.
The study, said Mr Sneider, stems from the understanding that unresolved historical issues are drivers of regional tension, and continue to bedevil relations to this day.
'The past is very much part of the present. Unresolved problems of the past feed mistrust and suspicion,' he told The Sunday Times. 'History issues also feed rising nationalism that can undermine government efforts to repair damaged relations.'
Despite growing economic and cultural ties, wounds inflicted in the time of war and colonialism still fuel anti-Japanese sentiment in China and South Korea. The outcome of China's civil war resonates today in tension between the mainland and Taiwan.
The goal was not to forge a common historical account for the region or reach a consensus on specific events, said Mr Sneider. He noted that such attempts by historians and government committees have had limited success.
Stanford University historian Peter Duus explained: 'Writing a common history is not feasible politically because the teaching of history in East Asian countries is tied to building and strengthening national identity.'
Instead, Stanford researchers felt it was more fruitful to 'try to recognise and understand how each society has developed its own distinctive memory of the past, and how that has affected its national identity and relations with others', commented Prof Shin.
Prof Duus and Prof Shin were writing in separate chapters included in a soon-to-be-published edited volume on the textbook study. Parts of the book were seen by The Sunday Times.
To facilitate the textbook study, researchers translated into English the most widely circulated high school history textbooks used in China, Japan, Taiwan, South Korea and the US.
Focusing on the period from the beginning of the Sino-Japanese war in 1931 until the formal end of the Pacific War with the San Francisco Peace Treaty in 1951, the researchers selected eight historical issues for translation.
These included the Japanese capture and occupation of Nanjing, China in 1937 and the atomic bombing of Japan in 1945.
Researchers included the US in the textbook study because of its participation in the Pacific War, as well as its role in shaping post-war dynamics in the region.
Looking at the translated textbook excerpts side by side would allow people to compare how historical memory is shaped in the different school systems for the first time, said Mr Sneider.
The team then brought together historians and textbook writers, including those from Japan and China, in a conference in February last year to analyse the treatment of history in the textbooks, and their impact on regional relations.
The experts found that the region's history texts were far from objective.
'Textbooks have been written specifically to promote a sense of national identity, and the politics of nationalism invariably affects their writing,' wrote Prof Shin.
Both Taiwan and mainland China textbooks, for example, play up the victory over colonialism and imperialism. But while 'both agree the defeat of the Japanese army ended a century of humiliation and established China as an international power, the path to victory is described differently and so is the outcome', Prof Duus commented.
The deepest disagreements between the mainland and Taiwanese textbooks are about the nature and effectiveness of Chinese resistance to the Japanese. The Chinese texts played down the role of the Kuomintang, while the Taiwanese texts make scant mention of the Chinese Communist Party's guerilla bases.
Compared with the Taiwanese textbooks, the Chinese texts dwelled on the brutality of the Japanese military in more graphic detail.
American textbooks, in general, were better than the Asian textbooks at encouraging critical thought. 'You have a debate over the decision to drop the atomic bomb on Japan, or discussions of the events that led to Pearl Harbour, for example,' Mr Sneider noted.
In contrast with Chinese and US textbooks, the tone in Japanese textbooks is 'muted, neutral, bland', Prof Duus wrote. While they make no effort to conceal the brutality of Japanese forces towards occupied peoples, they do not give students much of an analytical construct to understand events, observed Mr Sneider.
What the study made obvious was that the problem was not just with the Japanese history textbooks, even though they have received most of the criticism. Experts point out that the textbooks which whitewashed wartime abuses are used in less than 2 per cent of Japanese schools.
'This is a problem for everybody,' said Mr Sneider. 'We are all participants in creating a divided, and to some degree, implicitly distorted understanding of the past.'
The edited volume on the textbook study - which includes discussions from the February 2008 conference, and translated textbook excerpts - will be out next year. A teaching supplement based on the textbook study has been prepared for use by high school teachers in the US.
Mr Sneider said researchers hoped their work would show that 'we need to take a dispassionate, comparative approach to history that recognises there is no single historical truth that everybody has to subscribe to'.
He added: 'There is room for discussion which can hopefully lead to reconciliation.'
tracyq@sph.com.sg
The ghosts of wars past
'The past is very much part of the present. Unresolved problems of the past feed mistrust and suspicion.''
Mr Daniel Sneider, co-director of Walter H. Shorenstein Asia-Pacific Research Centre at Stanford University.

Responsibility

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 19:42:10 GMT

Not too long ago, I blogged about how decisions have consequences that only really materialise years down the road. What I did not write, at that time, but which I thought was implicit in the post, was that usually we are already aware of the consequences. It just takes a while for the consequences to sink in.

Yesterday, I made another decision. I had agonised over it for weeks and weeks, and if I could, I would have put it off until the decision was taken off my hands. Because, I really do not want to make that choice. Because then at least I can disclaim responsibility for the consequences of the aftermath. Unfortunately, that was not possible.

There were two choices before me. Whichever option I chose, I know what the consequences will be and that I will not like either of those consequences. I know that, whatever I decide, there will be this hollow aching feeling in my heart and the sinking feeling that I had destroyed or foresaken something dear to me.

I made the choice that I think will hurt the people I care for less. I made the choice that I think is the rational one in the long run. I made the choice that I think, my conscience can live with. In other words, as per my usual practice, I allowed my head to rule over my heart once again.

I see the smiles, I sense the excitement, I hear the laughter, I can almost taste the relief in the air. I think that I can live with the consequences of my decision.

And yet, tonight, I can't sleep.

palms forehead

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 12:39:58 GMT

We have a government-controlled press, and that is no secret. However, I am starting to think our editors need to be sent back to school for writing classes. How on earth can such a headline make it to print?

Nov 15, 2009

PM Lee invited to nuke summit

By Teo Cheng Wee

UNITED States President Barack Obama on Sunday invited Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong to a nuclear summit in Washington next year, in recognition of Singapore's role in nuclear security.

Perhaps the editors were all suffering from exhaustion due to the APEC coverage - "nuke summit" indeed... *fumes*

No Te Salves by Mario Benedetti

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 13:02:34 GMT

It has been an unbelievably rough week, work-wise. I have not been this exhausted since I completed my post-grad. And I have not done so much damage to my wallet in pursuit of retail therapy for a very long time.

Nonetheless, this post is not to complain about work, but rather to share a poem that a good friend of mine has shared on FaceBook. The poem is in Spanish and is sung by Adriana Varela, one of the main Argentina tango singers of recent times, in the clip below. The poet is Mario Benedetti, and according to Wikipedia, he is considered, in the Spanish-speaking world, to be one of Latin America's most important 20th-century writers.

The above is in Spanish, but you can find the English and Mandarin translations below. I particularly like the Mandarin translation, which is done by my friend, Angeline Ang Yih Ching. She is currently pursuing her postgraduate studies at NUS LKY School of Public Policy and is currently spending a semester in Harvard. According to her, she fell in love with the poem when she heard it, and decided to translate it to Mandarin to express it in a language that is most authentic to her. She has kindly agreed to let me post her translation here.

No Te Salves - Spanish Original	Don't Save Yourself - English Translation	《别忙于自保》- Mandarin Translation
No te quedes inmóvil al borde del camino no congeles el júbilo no quieras con desgana no te salves ahora ni nunca no te salves no te llenes de calma no reserves del mundo sólo un rincón tranquilo no dejes caer los párpados pesados como juicios no te quedes sin labios no te duermas sin sueño no te pienses sin sangre no te juzgues sin tiempo pero si pese a todo no puedes evitarlo y congelas el júbilo y quieres con desgana y te salvas ahora y te llenas de calma y reservas del mundo sólo un rincón tranquilo y dejas caer los párpados pesados como juicios y te secas sin labios y te duermes sin sueño y te piensas sin sangre y te juzgas sin tiempo y te quedas inmóvil al borde del camino y te salvas entonces no te quedes conmigo.	Don’t stay motionless by the way side, don’t freeze your joy or love half-heartedly. Don’t save yourself nowor ever. Don’t save yourself, don’t be so calm, and in this world don’t keep a tranquil corner, or let your eyelids drop heavy with judgments. Don’t be left without lips, don’t sleep without dreams, or imagine yourself bloodless, or judge yourself with haste. But if, despite everything, you can’t help it, and you freeze your joy, and you love half-heartedly, and you save yourself now; if you stay serene, and in the world keep only a tranquil corner, let your eyelids drop heavy as judgments, remain without lips, and sleep without dreams; if you imagine yourself bloodless, judge yourself in haste, and stay motionless on the side of the road, and you save yourself - Then - don’t stay with me.	不要站在道路的边缘裹足不前不要冻结喜悦，或带着犹豫去爱不要忙于自保，现今或永远不要明哲保身，不要那么冷静不要只躲在世界的安全角落不要让眼帘，有如沉重的审判般落下不要一句话也不说不要没怀着任何梦想就入睡不要让自己变得冷酷无血不要急于下定论。但是，如果你无法不冻结喜悦无法不带着犹豫去爱如果你非得自保冷静地躲在世界安全一角让眼帘如沉重的审判般落下一句话也不说若你什么梦也没做，若你是冷酷无血的如果，你现在就宣判自己的结局明哲保身地站在路旁那么，请你不要跟我在一起

To everything there is a season ...

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 04:14:00 GMT

I have been looking for this particular version for quite a while, and am quite glad to have finally found it at the World Prayers website.

To everything there is a season,
a time for every purpose under the sun.
A time to be born and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
a time to kill and a time to heal ...
a time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance ...
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to lose and a time to seek;
a time to rend and a time to sew;
a time to keep silent and a time to speak;
a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace.

ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Retrospective

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 04:15:21 GMT

Looking at the past year or so, there was so much building going on, so much hard work and the intensity is such that there are days when I could just sit at my desk and cry, cry in sheer frustration and exhaustion. However tired I am, however frustrated I get, I always tell myself, it is okay. I am laying the foundations for future generations of my team to build upon, so that we can create a truly great practice, a leading practice in Singapore and perhaps even in the region. Even though I have no plans to stay on, even though I want to move on, I am leaving something behind. And that made the year and a half spent here worthwhile.

Children in Siem Reap (Part 1)

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 08:32:40 GMT

In an earlier post, I mentioned or hinted at my unease with one aspect of my photography trip to Siem Reap earlier this month, specifically with respect to the children.

I was in Siem Reap back in 2006, with my friends from Museum Volunteers. While we did meet some child beggars, they were very few in numbers. There were a lot of child salespeople - children trying to sell all kinds of trinkets and bags but even then, they backed off once you indicated that you are not interested.

In 2009, the number of child beggars astounded me. The number of children going "one dollar? do you have "tang-guo"?" chills me to the core. And it is not just child beggars who are asking for these gifts. We were at Bakeng for the sunrise, and while we were shooting the temple from the entrance in order to capture the golden glow, children were walking through the temple to get to school, and almost every other child who passed us went "do you have "tang-guo" lady? one dollar?" And the child salesgirl / boys - they were so very persistent that it has become irritating. I actually had to tell off two girls who trailed me up and down a road, and going non-stop "lady, you want to buy - 5 for one dollar, lady, give me a dollar, lady, give me "tang-guo""... up and down the street. I kid you not.

I cannot help but curse the influx of Chinese tourists (whether from China or Taiwan I have no idea) who thoughtlessly gave sweets to these children ("tang-guo" is Mandarin for candy / sweets). Seriously, these children have very little, if any, access to dental care - what on earth are people thinking to be giving sweets to these children? And why why why are tourists giving money to them as if money is nothing? It just encourages begging.

Look, before you curse me for being a hard-hearted bitch with not a drop of sympathy in her blood, I feel sorry for the poverty-strucken circumstances of the Cambodians as much as anyone else. However, there are ways of helping that do not encourage dependency on hand-outs. Here is a link to one NGO that is doing good work for children in Cambodia. Just think - when you give that one dollar, who do you give it to? That old man, that middle-aged woman with a missing limb or that adorable child with the big eyes and tattered clothes? I bet that more often than not, you are giving money to the child. And guess what is going to happen? Do you really think that the child will use that money to go to school? Or rather, will the child (or his or her guardian or in the worst case scenario, owner) stay on the streets simply because it makes more financial sense for him or her to be accosting tourists for handouts rather than be in school studying?

OK fine, you say, what about notebook and pencils, these are good for the children right? My hard-hearted view - no, no and no. What do you think the children are going to do with the notebooks and pencils? If they are at the temple ruins posing for photographs (and then asking for money in return) or begging for money, do you think the notebooks and pencils will be used for school? Or is it more likely that the notebooks and pencils will be sold for money? And if children are trying to sell you trinkets, and instead of buying their wares, you give them notebooks, pencils, sweets or worse, money, what have you done to them? At the least, these children are trying to make an honest living by selling their wares - why treat them like beggars who are asking for handouts? Buy their postcards damnit, or just ignore them. They are not beggars, don't treat them like they are. Don't take away what self-respect they have. Sometimes that is all they have.

Siem Reap Photography Workshop

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:39:31 GMT

I just returned from Siem Reap yesterday, the trip is a photography workshop - 20 photographers going on a trip together. It was the first time I had ever gone on a trip where everyone is a photography hobbyist (and in at least one case, a semi-pro wedding photographer). It was quite an experience and I learnt so much from all the seniors who gave me pointers throughout the trip.

This is a photo which I think is also fairly representative of what comes to people's mind when we think of Cambodia.

However, the above is not really my favourite shot - it just seems a little too boring, don't you think? Among my so-called "classic" shots of Angkor Wat, the below are my favourites:

I have generally shot in Aperture Priority mode, because the rules are simple to apply - "f/8 and shoot" is the rule I apply in the majority of cases where there is sufficient light and depth of field is not an issue, f/11 to f/22 where the light is strong, I am able to do long exposures or where I want to do landscapes where everything is in focus, and lower f-stops for shallow depth of field or where the light is insufficient. Simple.

One of the things I learnt during this trip was that Aperture Priority mode may not be the best choice in all circumstances. One of the guys taught me to use Manual Mode so that I can keep the shallow depth of field and yet not have the picture suffer from over-exposure. Below is probably the first decent photo I have taken using Manual Mode.

Also, when I was taking pictures of a cultural performance, the trick I learnt is to use Shutter Priority (the longer the shutter remains open, the more light is captured), and try to offset the risk of blurness caused by movement through the use of higher ISO and bigger aperture. I managed to reach some kind of equilibrium at ISO 1000, shutter speed 1/80 (for focal length ranging from 60 to 105 mm) and aperture of approximately f/4 to f/5.6 and got some really cool photos of the dancers that I would not have been able to obtain just a week before (see my photos taken during Daniel and Priscillia's wedding and you know what I mean). Here are a couple of the photos of the dancers that I really liked.

I make mistakes of course, I forget that I have set my aperture to f/22 and happily tried to take photos of children (bad move, since the pictures all turn out blurry), or that I am in Manual mode and need to set my aperture and shutter speed separately instead of just aperture (or shutter speed) alone. And one thing I just cannot get used to with the Nikon camera - the exposure dial. Somehow, it doesn't seem to be intuitive - spinning the dial to the left results in an increase in the exposure, and spinning the dial to the right results in a decrease in the exposure. I keep getting it wrong, damnit.

The other fun part is learning when to use what lens. Having two lens (the Tokina 11-16 mm and the Nikkor 18-105 mm kit lens) really forces me to think about what type of pictures I am shooting, and where I am likely to find the composition that I want to shoot. For example, the Tokina is brilliant at some of the temples where I can go real close to the relief carvings on the wall, or to the sculptures, but completely useless where I need the reach of a telephoto. It means that I have to do my research on the places where I am going, and then decide which lens to use. The alternative is to keep switching lens. In a smaller temple such as the Banteay Srei, I can make two rounds of the buildings, one round with the Tokina, and the other with the Nikkor, but if I am in a bigger site like Bayon or Angkor Wat, I'll just end up exhausting myself if I try that. If I am shooting the sunrise, I don't really want to be changing lens either, since the light changes so rapidly. So thinking and planning in advance is important.

Speaking (or rather, writing) of sunrises, those of you who know me should know that I am definitely not a morning person, so you can imagine just how mad an idea it seems for me to get out of my warm cosy bed at 4 am in the morning, to wander about in the pitch-darkness, feeling my way and scampering up steep and uneven stairs all in the hopes of a good sunrise shot, and for three days in a row. I amaze myself, truly, that I managed to survive those two days without biting anyone's head off. I have to say though, that the weather was rather variable and the first morning at Phnom Bakheng, in particular, was rather forgettable except for the steep and narrow stairs. In response to the explanation that the stairs were narrow and steep because going to heaven should not be an easy task, one of the guys clambering down the stairs exclaimed, "but I am trying to come down!".

The second and third sunrises were more fruitful. I particularly loved the second sunrise at Sra Sang, where the peaceful waters of the reservoir act as a mirror for the beautiful sky above.

The third sunrise, at Bakong, is beautiful, but not that spectacular, though there are still a couple of shots that I quite like.

There were many shots of children, who are marvellous subjects for photography. Nonetheless, I was intensely uncomfortable with the idea that we can just visit a school and take pictures of the school children there. I launched into a rather intense monologue about how I thought the whole idea is wrong, but that will be the subject of another post I am intending to make soon. Here are some pictures of children that I really like:

And one that nearly broke my heart:

There are other photos of course, and you can see the slide show here.

Cambodia Again!

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 16:23:10 GMT

Today (since it is now past midnight) is my last working day of the month - it promises to be hell, but it is the last working day of the month! And I'll be off on a flight to Cambodia for a photography workshop on Tuesday. I just need to hang in here!!!

See the light at the end of the tunnel?

Power Of The Dream by Charice Pempengco

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 18:54:25 GMT

This song is beautiful - and the singer is amazing.

Your mind will take you far
The rest is just pure heart
You'll find your fate is all your own creation

There's so much strength in all of us
Every woman child and man
It's the moment that you think you can't
You'll discover that you can

The power of the dream
The faith in things unseen
The courage to embrace your fear
No matter where you are
To reach for your own star
To realize the power of the dream

Deep within each heart
There lies a magic spark
That lights the fire of our imagination
And since the dawn of man
The strength of just "I can"
Has brought together people of all nations

There's nothing ordinary
In the living of each day
There's a special part
Every one of us will play

Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
As the world gives us its best
To stand apart from all the rest
It is the power of the dream that brings us here

Your mind will take you far
The rest is just pure heart
You'll find your fate is all your own creation
Every boy and girl
As they come into this world
They bring the gift of hope and inspiration

Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
The world unites in hope and peace
We pray that it will always be
It is the power of the dream that brings us here

There's so much strength in all of us
Every woman child and man
It's the moment that you think you can't
You'll discover that you can

Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
The world unites in hope and peace
We pray that it will always be
It is the power of the dream that brings us here

Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
The world unites in hope and peace
We pray that it will always be
It is the power of the dream that brings us here

The power of the dream
The faith in things unseen
The courage to embrace your fear
No matter where you are
To reach for your own star
To realize the power of the dream

Quotes

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:20:22 GMT

I came across this quote while poking around my friends' facebook page:

“When deep injury is done to us, we will never recover until we forgive. Forgiveness does not change the past but it does enlarge the future”
– Mary Karen Read

It brings to mind a conversation I had with a friend, S, when we were discussing the concept of forgiveness. S said that she doesn't hold grudges, and I told her that, by and large I don't, but there are some things which I can't forgive. She said, there is no point to hold such grudges, because it will only end in me being bitter. I kept silent, but my thoughts at that time were that sometimes it is this sense of injustice and bitterness that keeps me going. However, when I read the quote above, I thought, S has a point - why allow something or someone that hurt you so deeply to dictate the course of your life, even if it is just a little bit. Someone who I had already kicked out of or had already voluntarily left my life, and against whom I had already built walls to prevent him or her from coming back in ever again. To forgive but not to forget - surely I have it within me to achieve this.

Some other quotes that I stumbled across along the way:

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that smeone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life ... you give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" turn into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It is a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."

- Neil Gaiman

"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven.
A time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.
A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance.
A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.
A time to search and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear apart and a time to sew together; A time to be silent and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate; A time for war and a time for peace."
- Ecclesiastes 3, New American Standard Bible

“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”
- Anon

My Nephew is Married (haha)

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 09:02:29 GMT

It was my nephew's wedding yesterday. I come from huge extended family, so he is actually the only child of one of my many cousins, who is in turn the eldest son of my father's eldest brother. Go work out the family relationships if you are really interested.

He is actually about a year older than me, and it has been a source of conflict when we were younger that I am a generation above him, and is therefore, according to Chinese traditions, his elder. As a child therefore, I insisted on being "respected" as an elder, and he, being senior chronologically, insisted that he should be "respected" as an elder instead. As children, we sometimes went overboard - to this day, I maintain that my hair-trigger temper and stubborn nature were due to my almost daily clashes with him as children. He maintained that I was born a chili-padi.

Nonetheless we are very close friends. We went to kindergarden and church together and as our fathers both worked in the family business at that time, we used to spend Saturdays scampering together about the shop - fishing in drains, building forts using all the boxes and cardboards in the shop, attempting (usually unsuccessfully) to sneak out of the shop into the backlanes or the big busy road, and chatting with the "uncles" at the adjacent shops. I remembered many many years ago, when we were very young, the extended family had a gathering at a holiday chalet with a fantastic playground. Some other child, in his excitement to get on a swing, pushed me off the (relatively) high platform into the sand, and I ended up with multiple scratches and a very bloody leg. I was absolutely terrified by all the blood and was screaming my head off - the fact that I remembered that experience should tell you just how terrified I was. As the adults hurriedly bundled us off back to the chalet, he and my other nephews and cousins around the same age (I was the only girl) decided that they should seek out the errant child and beat him up for hurting me. His mum (my favourite cousin-in-law, and a lady with a heart of gold) hushed him quickly and told him that Jesus wants us to forgive those who had done us wrong and that he should focus on taking care of me instead of leaving me alone while he goes out to bash someone up. I adored all my nephews and cousins for wanting to do that for me though.

We went off to different primary schools (and subsequently different secondary schools, junior colleges and different universities), and his father (my cousin) left the family business to venture out on his own. We also both left the church we were attending at around the same time, though without prior consultation with each other, and one of the reasons we did so (when we finally realised that both of us had left) was that we found Christians (not Christianity) to be ... well, the best way to put it is probably to say that they are not people who we wanted to hang around with. I of course, had in addition my little problem with waking up early on Sunday morning for church. As a result, we don't see each other that often anymore, but we never failed to have something to debate or discuss or laugh over whenever we meet up. Around our junior college days, we started meeting up outside of family gatherings - sharing our interests in current affairs, religion, and when we reached university and then started working, travel, wine and photography. I managed to persuade him on some mad adventures as well, the most notable being the 50 km night walk that we participated in to raise funds for charity. I did not know it at that time, but among our teammates was the girl who would become his wife.

He returned to church a few years ago, one of those new-fangled churches that have no buildings of their own and use a rented auditorium or hall for services, and that is where he met his wife. I remembered him telling me - I don't know how you feel about this, but I have returned to the church. And I remembered responding - So long as you are happy. Though if you become one of those awful hypocritical and oh-so-holier-than-thou Christians, I'll cut off all contact with you. He promised he won't, and he hasn't.

As my brother grew up (and stopped being just a child), he joined us - we meet up regularly for wine sessions and it was during one of these sessions that our idea for a New Zealand holiday came up. Four of us - me, him, his now-wife and my younger brother - went New Zealand together for a driving holiday - indulging in our love of great food, fantastic scenery, fabulous wine and brilliant photo opportunities. It was a great trip, and for their wedding gift, my brother and I designed and ordered a photo book comprising photos of that memorable trip (since it is also their first trip as a couple).

After the church ceremony, his aunt (my eldest cousin) asked me if I will miss him - since he is now "taken" and I have lost a buddy to hang out with - I don't think so. We were hanging out even after he was attached, and his now-wife has joined us in all our outings and travels. And similar to what I told him when he told me that he is returning to church, so long as he is happy, I am happy. I don't know whether he and his wife visit this blog, but this is just to say - Congratulations and I am very very happy for the both of you!!

Photos are under locked post.

Earthquakes

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 01:20:29 GMT

A 7.6 magnitude earthquake off the coast of Sumatra caused our office building to shake for a couple of minutes yesterday evening, around 6:30 pm or thereabouts. I thought I was falling sick (not surprising given how tired I have been recently), and am having a dizzy spell, but after a while it just didn't feel right.

It wasn't the first time we felt tremors from earthquakes in Sumatra. I recalled the first time it happened, it was slightly before lunch time and we had to evacuate the building and mill around outside the building (I remembered one of my friends protesting as her boyfriend dragged her out, "my email, I need to finish my email, client is expecting it before lunch!" and when she was downstairs and outside the building, "can we go back now? I need to send out my email." and her boyfriend hushing her) Just when we returned from an early lunch, however, another set of tremors shook the building, and the management decided to declare a half day holiday - I stayed on in the office because I had work, and also because I had class later in the evening. My head of department appeared at the door to my office and asked me to go home - I am not sure if it is out of concern or because the firm wanted to avoid any liability should the building collapse while I am still inside.

The second time it happened was an evening, around 7 pm or so. And I was darn miffed because I was trying to finish an advice and go on study leave thereafter (it was close to my exams). My room-mate had to pull a protesting me out of the office and I was grumbling all the way because the security guards will not allow us to return to the building until it has been verified to be sound, which took an hour or so. You should see how many lawyers were panicking over unfinished work on the lawn outside the building - especially the litigators who have court deadlines.

So this is the third time, and we were very calm about it. In fact the conversation in the office went something like this:

Me: Is the building shaking?

Colleague A: yes, must be another earthquake.

*Everyone went back to work. Building continues to shake.*

Colleague B: Should we leave the building?

Me: For what? It will be darn troublesome to come back in after that.

*Silence as everyone continues to work.*

My thinking was - if the building goes down with my documents and I all inside, as far as I am concerned, that is the end of the matter. If the building goes down with the documents inside and me outside, I'll have to redraft all those documents, from scratch and likely without references. No way!!!

South America

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 12:58:34 GMT

A friend of mine has just came back from a trip to South America, and I was peppering her with questions (safety, quality of the tour companies etc etc).

She said that she joined a couple of friends who are spending a year travelling and sent me the link to their blog.

I clicked my way through and scrolled through their many pages - they went North America before going down to South America. And you know what? I am so envious. Not because they have the chance to do something like this, but that they had each other to do it with. I consider myself quite self-sufficient and independent most of the time, and I know that I lead a rich and purposeful life, but I must admit, there are days when I wish I have a companion to share all my experiences with. It is strange, there are days when I think one other person within sight is one person too many, but there are days when I really wish there is someone there with me.

Do you think, do you think I can bring a dog with me to South America (or get one in South America) and have it accompany me on my entire trip? The only problem here is what happens when we return - my mum detest dogs, cats, rabbits (i.e. any pets other than fish), and had more than once told me and my brother (whenever we requested for a cat or a dog) to choose between her or the prospective pet. Thus far, we have chosen her ...

It Will Break Your Heart

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 15:37:51 GMT

If you love Singapore too much, first it will break your heart, then it will break your soul.

The above statement has been attributed to Alfian Sa'at, often referred to as the enfant terrible of Singapore's literary scene.

I love Singapore, it is a love that needs no justification, nor any explanation. I grew up here, it is my home, and the home of my family and many of my friends. It is the only home I have ever known. How can I not love her?

And yet, today, when I was doing my usual rounds of blog-surfing, I came across a blog post that commented on an advertisement for a job-opening. This is the advertisement, which is for a Sales Development Engineer:

Did you read the last line? It stated "Preferably non-Singaporean (PR welcome)"

I cannot even being to say all the things that are wrong with this and what it tells us about our country. All I can say is, when I read that line, I felt something break in me. And the line by Alfian Sa'at came to mind.

Photography Outing - Sunset at Changi Beach Boardwalk

Sun, 20 Sep 2009 17:14:47 GMT

I spent the evening at Changi Village Boardwalk (again!), though this time round, I brought my Nikon D90 instead of my Fujifilm S9600 for the photography session. I am having problems with the auto-focus and had to use manual-focus for many of the pictures which is a challenge to say the least. I need to go back to my manual to figure out where I had gone wrong.

Nonetheless, it was a fun trip, I was also fiddling with my B+W ND110 filter, which was quite a cool toy as it allows me to stop down by 10 stops, and therefore boats etc that passed by while I was taking a photo simply did not appear in the final photo - how awesome is that?

I had a few fairly decent photos that I have embedded into this post below (after the LJ cut) for everyone's enjoyment. Please be patient and wait for the photos to load fully.

My Best Wishes ...

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 06:57:14 GMT

A surprisingly high proportion of my friends, particularly my good friends have birthdays in July, August and September, which partially accounts for me being quite broke during this part of the year, every year. This period this year has been a particularly busy period for me, work-wise, and for many of my friends as well. As such, I am afraid I did not get to spend time with each and every one of my friends whose birthday falls within this period.

I know I am sounding really sentimental these days - perhaps it is a sign of old age - but as all of us scatter further and further to all corners of the world (both literally and metaphorically) to pursue our individual dreams and goals, it has become (and I suspect will continue to remain) more and more difficult to keep in touch. Nonetheless, it is my hope that all of us will remember the times we have spent together - learning and growing with all the attendant laughter and tears - and that as and when we meet again, we will be as comfortable with each other as we ever had. And perhaps one day, even if we never meet again, you may rock your grandchild on your knee, and tell them stories of grandma (or granddad) and dear old Aunty Euterpe.

My wishes to all of you:

May today there be peace within.
May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others.
May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content with yourself just the way you are.
Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.

17 Years of Friendship

Sun, 13 Sep 2009 14:25:38 GMT

I met up with three very good friends today for brunch, friends who I knew back from my secondary school days. We were secondary school classmates, and three of us (one couldn't make it) backpacked Europe together back when we were 21 years old. Since then, we have travelled together occasionally, and we have always made it a point to meet up at least twice a year - once during our birthdays (usually August since our birthdays traverse July, August and September), and once during Christmas or New Year. Usually though, we meet up more often than that - for a quick lunch on working days, a dinner if it so miraculously happen that we are able to knock off from work while the restaurants are still open, for some shopping on a Friday evening, just to chill out at the park, for a concert or, when we were feeling particularly health-conscious, for brisk walks and runs.

My secondary school years were not my happiest - simply put, there was a serious mismatch between my personality and the school culture. When I left at the end of four years, I was determined to leave it all behind me, sever all my ties so as to speak. I chose a junior college far off the beaten track where I knew none of my classmates, and very few of my schoolmates will go. I chose a course that I knew none of my science-and-maths-mad and Mandarin speaking schoolmates will ever dream of signing up for. I had good friends in my secondary school - these three girls among them - but I wanted to leave everything behind and start afresh. It was for the best, I thought.

My friends did not think so. They left me alone for a while - for the full two years that I was in junior college in fact. I hardly heard of them, let alone see them, so different were the social circles that we were then moving in. I wouldn't say that I miss them terribly during those two years because while I do think of them occasionally, I was enjoying myself immensely in junior college. However, my friends got back in touch with me when we entered university, and it was as if we had never been apart.

They gave me my space when I needed space to recuperate, and once they figured that I have sulked enough, they came after me, grabbed me and held on.

We are four very different girls, but somehow we became very good friends. I never knew what I did to deserve such strong and steady friendships, but I give thanks every day that I have them. Thank you my dears, and here's to the next 17 years of friendship (and more!)

P.S. I am leaving this unlocked since I know you girls read this sometimes.

Teaching History

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 04:50:57 GMT

An intriguing article appeared in my Inbox this morning, about the teaching of history in schools. In the article, which was published in The Straits Times, the author lamented how our education system has failed in the teaching of history. As evidence, the author cited a case where 15 year olds at a school band leadership camp named their team 'Hitler' because they admired the dictator's leadership qualities, and another where young Singaporeans have no idea who S. Rajaratnam (a founding father of our country), is.

I wonder if the author realises (maybe she does but she is writing in a state-owned paper after all) that history is dangerous. While history can be a tool for "nation-building" (more correctly known as propaganda), the study of history is actually a training of the mind - to read between the lines of contemporaneous documents, the self-serving statements of persons with legacies to protect, and the words of the man-in-the-street, whose views and recollections are necessarily influenced by her circumstances, both at the time a "historical" event has occurred and how she has fared since then. A historian is not a person with a memory for dry facts and figures, but a person who is trained to look underneath the underneath. She does not only have to aware of the biases and the worldviews of the persons she is interviewing or who had written the records she is studying, she has also, to the extent possible, be self-aware of her own biases and her own worldview. It requires a person to be analytical, to be clear-minded and ruthlessly self-questioning and to ask hard questions. It is my two years studying history at A Levels that taught me the merits of doing intense research, of tracking down that one reference in a thousand page book to an obscure research paper that leads you to another aspect of the issue which you had never considered, of reading widely and finding odd correlations and relationships that you never realise exist, and then to put together the various nuggets of seemingly unrelated or distantly related information to form a coherent picture that may be different from what you had believed to be correct.

Teach students history well (goodness that is a load of unwritten and unspoken assumptions here) - and you are teaching them to ask many probing and possibly uncomfortable questions about our accepted view of the past, the carefully crafted story known to every single Singaporean child who ever studied in our education system about how Singapore came to be - the story of hardworking immigrants who through sheer hard work and with no intention of ever settling down permanently here created this modern city state that we call home. The story of how we are an accidential nation, thrown out of Malaysia as we did not believe in special rights of any one race, who nobody ever thought will survive for long as an independent nation state. The story of how, under the leadership of our wise and capable and incorruptible leaders, we have became what we are today. Still a little red dot, but a little red dot that all of us are proud of.

Do we want to put the tools for tearing down this cherished and almost-sacred worldview in the hands of our young? To allow them to become truly independent, tireless, curious questioners? To allow them the means to pull our almost-mytical leaders off their dais?

During my training to become a museum guide at the Asian Civilisations Museum, I learnt that Shiva is the god of death and destruction and is hence feared. However, he is also admired, because the Hindus understand that without death, there can be no new life, without destruction, there can be no new creation.

STRAITS TIMES
Sep 7, 2009 Monday
SOAPBOX
Invest in history to secure the future
Overhaul teaching of history to get students interested and involved

By Eisen Teo

HISTORY is boring. Dead boring.

That's the refrain of about half a dozen secondary school students I've talked to in the course of my work.

History is just about a bunch of facts and dates we have to cram for exams, they say. And what's the significance of these facts and dates?

They shrug; they aren't sure.

Never mind that part of their O-level history examination is 'source-based', that is, testing their ability to assess the purpose, arguments and credibility of a historical source, such as a text excerpt, speech or interview.

Everything still boils down to facts, facts and more facts. If you don't hit the books and know what happened at this date, you're done for.
With just two or three school periods a week - that's no more than 11/2 hours - given over to history, the beleaguered teacher has little time or incentive to make the lesson more interesting. The priority still remains making sure the students know what's going to be tested inside out.

No wonder history just becomes another boring subject to get over and be done with.

So what, you may ask.

The long-term repercussions may be severe: a generation of Singaporeans with little knowledge or interest in how Singapore came to be, and little understanding of the world around them.

In 2005, eight 15-year-old students at a school band leadership camp named their team 'Hitler' because they admired the dictator's leadership qualities.

In hindsight, teachers said, their support for the man responsible for the death of millions during World War II was a combination of ignorance and a lack of understanding of history.

When founding father S. Rajaratnam died the following year, many young Singaporeans were left scratching their heads as to who he was, even though they recited every morning, hand on heart, the Pledge that he had penned.

Do we really want such ignorance and apathy?

The Government wants young people to remain rooted to the land in which they were born, long after they fly the coop. This was one of the 10 challenges Senior Minister Goh Chok Tong threw to policymakers last month.

A strong grounding in history may be the fertile soil for those roots. A keen interest in Singapore's history and world history in general helps one understand this country's place in the world.

Learning from past mistakes and taking a critical approach towards all'truths' are other useful side benefits of a fruitful time spent on history.

What's the solution, then?

To me, nothing short of an overhaul of how history is taught in schools.

Make history exams open-book. A radical move but it'll test what's most crucial: the analytical skills that not just a student of history, but any student, needs - not his ability to memorise facts and dates.

With this change, the history textbook will morph from an enemy into a friend, to be consulted at all times - and students will find it less onerous to read.

The curriculum must also move away from the raw presentation of events to the discussion of historical issues and methods of history, known as historiography.

Many historical facts can never be disputed - for example, the fact that Raffles set up a port in Singapore in 1819, or that two atomic bombs were dropped on Japan in 1945.

But the same facts can be employed to paint different narratives.

Depending on which sources one looks at, it could be argued that 1819 heralded the beginning of modern Singapore - or was simply the start of the latest in a series of trading emporiums on the island.

The latter thesis will be put forth in Singapore, A 700-Year History: From Early Emporium To World City, a new book by historians Tan Tai Yong, Derek Heng and Kwa Chong Guan.

Only then will students realise that historical texts are written long after the fact as a means to an end which varies with the author and the society he comes from. It will foster the beginnings of a healthy scepticism and sense of reality.

Is it too early for secondary school students to grasp such concepts? It's worth a try to grab their fleeting attention.

The alternative is a lifelong rejection of anything to do with history.

And oh, please do devote at least an hour more a week to history. Take it as an investment for our future.
eisenteo@sph.com.sg

Thought-Provoking Quote

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 07:57:39 GMT

Came across the following quote a while back while reading the NYT:

""Dictatorial systems make one contribution to their people which leads them to tend to support such systems — freedom from the necessity of informing themselves and making up their own minds concerning these tremendous complex and difficult questions.” The authoritarian follower, Eisenhower suggested, desired nothing more than insulation from the pressures of a free society."

From this article.

There is indeed comfort in just following orders - it is so much easier to just obey as opposed to think as to whether obedience and adherence to the norm is correct in this particular case. The older I get, the more tempting it is, to just go with the flow. Why fight? Why not just do what everyone does? If so many people do it, it must be right, mustn't it?

Decisions

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 14:30:52 GMT

Not very long ago, a friend of mine asked me to consider pursuing a Master of Law in Tax at NYU.

I was interested. A few of my friends had gone down that path - it seems to be a good springboard out of Singapore and I always wanted to go NY. The big obstacle was the fees. I could just about afford the fees, but not the costs of living in NY. My friend pointed out that I had financed my undergraduate education via bank loans, and I can do the same with my postgraduate education. It is different, I retorted - the bank loan for my undergraduate education was interest-free until six months after graduation, by which time I was settled into a nice-paying job, the bank loan for this bears interest from the date of draw-down, and even a person as bad at numbers as I am know that you don't fool around with compound interest. I would have exhausted my financial reserves and gone into debt just to pursue a post-graduate degree. Pssh, my friend said, the starting pay of a new lawyer in NY is so high that you'll pay off the debt in no time. And he was right - even now, after six years of working experience, my pay is less than the starting pay of a NY lawyer in a big firm (even after their pay cuts and pay freezes). And in those days, it seems that law firms in NY were hiring anyone who breathes.

Still, I hesitated. I had just got out of debt at that time, debt that I did not incur, but which I still had to pay. I had a brother in university, who I was partially responsible for financially. I have semi-retired parents. Given the circumstances, to take a year off and then come out of that year in debt seems foolhardy. It was a difficult decision - the heart says, go. the head says, you can't. And there is no right or wrong decision on this - either way, a price must be, and is indeed, paid.

Looking back, as the consequences of the decision are now increasingly apparent, I am wistful, but I know that even if I can, I would not have changed anything.

We live with the consequences of our decisions, and all we can do is to smile, grimly or otherwise, and move on with our lives.

The article that inspired the ramblings above.

Seriously, of all the people to scam ...

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 10:12:45 GMT

Got this in my mailbox today from the Law Society of Singapore. It is quite clever I must say, much better than the one I got a couple of years back where a person calls claiming to be from the Supreme Court, and saying that I am under investigation for money-laundering etc, and to verify that I actually have ownership and control of my own bank account I must transfer x funds to this other bank account. It was very professionally done, with a telephone operator and then a person claiming to be from the CAD. The only problem is, the call is made to my DID in the law firm I was then working at, and most lawyers will know that:

the courts do not call you to inform you that you are suspected of money-laundering;
the staff at the courts do not speak Mandarin upon picking up the phone, neither does the CAD officer; and
they do not call every lawyer's (and her secretary's) DID one by one to say the same thing.

Plus the fact that the so-called court staff and the so-called CAD officer speaks with a strong PRC accent. I remembered my secretary scolding the caller in Mandarin - this is a LAW FIRM, who do you think you are bluffing!!!

E-mail Scam Targeted at Law Practices

The Law Society has recently been informed of an e-mail scam targeted at law practices. In a typical e-mail sent to a law practice, the scammer assumes the identity of a real company and instructs the law practice to act on their behalf to claim overdue payments from a debtor, which is also a real company. However, the scammer will provide fake contact details of the debtor. Contacting the debtor actually puts the law practice back in touch with the scammer, who then issues a counterfeit cheque to the law practice for payment of the 'debt'. The law practice is then instructed to transfer a sum, less their fees, to the scammer’s bank account or the bank account of a business associate of the scammer.

Members are advised to take the necessary precautions to guard against this scam.

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 18:29:01 GMT

I was at Marina Barrage this evening, ostensibly as part of a photography group outing, but I got separated from the group early on, as I got lost in my photo-taking. This is my first actual photography outing with my Nikon D90. I have been carrying the camera around for a few weeks, but have not gone out with the primary aim of picture-taking.

I like photo-taking. Nobody bugs me when I am taking pictures. It is me and my camera and the view. I can fiddle with the camera, testing out different settings, trying to visualise in my mind's eye how the final picture should look, and comparing that against the picture I finally got. I just sit around and observe - there is no need to make polite small talk, no need to put on a front. And I realise that the older I get, the more I crave, hunger for this "alone" time.

I also love night photography - I like to see the changing colours as the sun sets and the effects of all the city lights. One of the driving force behind my upgrading from a prosumer to a DSLR is the inability of a prosumer camera to take decent night shots.

Anyway, enough rambling, here is a selection of some of the results of my very first photo outing for your enjoyment!