I was reading the newspaper headlines from my firm's intranet when I saw this rather intriguing headline - Victim: Scholarship named after S'pore lawyer - and decided to visit the webpage. I got a screen-shot of the webpage which I reproduced below.



When I read it, it sounded to me that a victim (of what I have no idea) has decided to set up a scholarship in honour of a Singapore lawyer (for what reasons again I am not sure), and has made a press statement about his or her act. Only upon reading the full article do I realise that the scholarship is established in memory of the Singapore lawyer who was killed during the Mumbai terrorist attack in 2008.

In other words, the above headline is clearly nonsensical - the victim (the deceased lawyer in this case) has clearly not made any statement, and did not establish any scholarship.

I am not a newspaper editor, neither do I hold any degree in journalism or the English language. However, surely, a newspaper headline is intended to give the reader (at one glance) the gist of the article, and not create confusion instead?

Not too long ago, I blogged about how decisions have consequences that only really materialise years down the road. What I did not write, at that time, but which I thought was implicit in the post, was that usually we are already aware of the consequences. It just takes a while for the consequences to sink in.

Yesterday, I made another decision. I had agonised over it for weeks and weeks, and if I could, I would have put it off until the decision was taken off my hands. Because, I really do not want to make that choice. Because then at least I can disclaim responsibility for the consequences of the aftermath. Unfortunately, that was not possible.

There were two choices before me. Whichever option I chose, I know what the consequences will be and that I will not like either of those consequences. I know that, whatever I decide, there will be this hollow aching feeling in my heart and the sinking feeling that I had destroyed or foresaken something dear to me.

I made the choice that I think will hurt the people I care for less. I made the choice that I think is the rational one in the long run. I made the choice that I think, my conscience can live with. In other words, as per my usual practice, I allowed my head to rule over my heart once again.

I see the smiles, I sense the excitement, I hear the laughter, I can almost taste the relief in the air. I think that I can live with the consequences of my decision.

And yet, tonight, I can't sleep.

We have a government-controlled press, and that is no secret. However, I am starting to think our editors need to be sent back to school for writing classes. How on earth can such a headline make it to print?

Nov 15, 2009

PM Lee invited to nuke summit

By Teo Cheng Wee

UNITED States President Barack Obama on Sunday invited Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong to a nuclear summit in Washington next year, in recognition of Singapore's role in nuclear security.

Perhaps the editors were all suffering from exhaustion due to the APEC coverage - "nuke summit" indeed... *fumes*

It has been an unbelievably rough week, work-wise. I have not been this exhausted since I completed my post-grad. And I have not done so much damage to my wallet in pursuit of retail therapy for a very long time.

Nonetheless, this post is not to complain about work, but rather to share a poem that a good friend of mine has shared on FaceBook. The poem is in Spanish and is sung by Adriana Varela, one of the main Argentina tango singers of recent times, in the clip below. The poet is Mario Benedetti, and according to Wikipedia, he is considered, in the Spanish-speaking world, to be one of Latin America's most important 20th-century writers.


The above is in Spanish, but you can find the English and Mandarin translations below. I particularly like the Mandarin translation, which is done by my friend, Angeline Ang Yih Ching. She is currently pursuing her postgraduate studies at NUS LKY School of Public Policy and is currently spending a semester in Harvard. According to her, she fell in love with the poem when she heard it, and decided to translate it to Mandarin to express it in a language that is most authentic to her. She has kindly agreed to let me post her translation here.
( Click for translations )

I have been looking for this particular version for quite a while, and am quite glad to have finally found it at the World Prayers website.

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under the sun. A time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a time to kill and a time to heal ... a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance ... a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to lose and a time to seek; a time to rend and a time to sew; a time to keep silent and a time to speak; a time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace.

ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Looking at the past year or so, there was so much building going on, so much hard work and the intensity is such that there are days when I could just sit at my desk and cry, cry in sheer frustration and exhaustion. However tired I am, however frustrated I get, I always tell myself, it is okay. I am laying the foundations for future generations of my team to build upon, so that we can create a truly great practice, a leading practice in Singapore and perhaps even in the region. Even though I have no plans to stay on, even though I want to move on, I am leaving something behind. And that made the year and a half spent here worthwhile.

In an earlier post, I mentioned or hinted at my unease with one aspect of my photography trip to Siem Reap earlier this month, specifically with respect to the children.

I was in Siem Reap back in 2006, with my friends from Museum Volunteers. While we did meet some child beggars, they were very few in numbers. There were a lot of child salespeople - children trying to sell all kinds of trinkets and bags but even then, they backed off once you indicated that you are not interested.

In 2009, the number of child beggars astounded me. The number of children going "one dollar? do you have "tang-guo"?" chills me to the core. And it is not just child beggars who are asking for these gifts. We were at Bakeng for the sunrise, and while we were shooting the temple from the entrance in order to capture the golden glow, children were walking through the temple to get to school, and almost every other child who passed us went "do you have "tang-guo" lady? one dollar?" And the child salesgirl / boys - they were so very persistent that it has become irritating. I actually had to tell off two girls who trailed me up and down a road, and going non-stop "lady, you want to buy - 5 for one dollar, lady, give me a dollar, lady, give me "tang-guo""...  up and down the street. I kid you not.

I cannot help but curse the influx of Chinese tourists (whether from China or Taiwan I have no idea) who thoughtlessly gave sweets to these children ("tang-guo" is Mandarin for candy / sweets). Seriously, these children have very little, if any, access to dental care - what on earth are people thinking to be giving sweets to these children? And why why why are tourists giving money to them as if money is nothing? It just encourages begging.

Look, before you curse me for being a hard-hearted bitch with not a drop of sympathy in her blood, I feel sorry for the poverty-strucken circumstances of the Cambodians as much as anyone else. However, there are ways of helping that do not encourage dependency on hand-outs. Here is a link to one NGO that is doing good work for children in Cambodia. Just think - when you give that one dollar, who do you give it to? That old man, that middle-aged woman with a missing limb or that adorable child with the big eyes and tattered clothes? I bet that more often than not, you are giving money to the child. And guess what is going to happen? Do you really think that the child will use that money to go to school? Or rather, will the child (or his or her guardian or in the worst case scenario, owner) stay on the streets simply because it makes more financial sense for him or her to be accosting tourists for handouts rather than be in school studying?

OK fine, you say, what about notebook and pencils, these are good for the children right? My hard-hearted view - no, no and no. What do you think the children are going to do with the notebooks and pencils? If they are at the temple ruins posing for photographs (and then asking for money in return) or begging for money, do you think the notebooks and pencils will be used for school? Or is it more likely that the notebooks and pencils will be sold for money? And if children are trying to sell you trinkets, and instead of buying their wares, you give them notebooks, pencils, sweets or worse, money, what have you done to them? At the least, these children are trying to make an honest living by selling their wares - why treat them like beggars who are asking for handouts? Buy their postcards damnit, or just ignore them. They are not beggars, don't treat them like they are. Don't take away what self-respect they have. Sometimes that is all they have.

I just returned from Siem Reap yesterday, the trip is a photography workshop - 20 photographers going on a trip together. It was the first time I had ever gone on a trip where everyone is a photography hobbyist (and in at least one case, a semi-pro wedding photographer). It was quite an experience and I learnt so much from all the seniors who gave me pointers throughout the trip.

This is a photo which I think is also fairly representative of what comes to people's mind when we think of Cambodia.


( More Pictures ... )

Today (since it  is now past midnight) is my last working day of the month - it promises to be hell, but it is the last working day of the month! And I'll be off on a flight to Cambodia for a photography workshop on Tuesday. I just need to hang in here!!!

See the light at the end of the tunnel?

This song is beautiful - and the singer is amazing.


( The Lyrics )

I came across this quote while poking around my friends' facebook page:

“When deep injury is done to us, we will never recover until we forgive. Forgiveness does not change the past but it does enlarge the future”
– Mary Karen Read

It brings to mind a conversation I had with a friend, S, when we were discussing the concept of forgiveness. S said that she doesn't hold grudges, and I told her that, by and large I don't, but there are some things which I can't forgive. She said, there is no point to hold such grudges, because it will only end in me being bitter. I kept silent, but my thoughts at that time were that sometimes it is this sense of injustice and bitterness that keeps me going. However, when I read the quote above, I thought, S has a point - why allow something or someone that hurt you so deeply to dictate the course of your life, even if it is just a little bit. Someone who I had already kicked out of or had already voluntarily left my life, and against whom I had already built  walls to prevent him or her from coming back in ever again. To forgive but not to forget - surely I have it within me to achieve this.

( Some quotes I came across along the way ... )

It was my nephew's wedding yesterday. I come from huge extended family, so he is actually the only child of one of my many cousins, who is in turn the eldest son of my father's eldest brother. Go work out the family relationships if you are really interested.

He is actually about a year older than me, and it has been a source of conflict when we were younger that I am a generation above him, and is therefore, according to Chinese traditions, his elder. As a child therefore, I insisted on being "respected" as an elder, and he, being senior chronologically, insisted that he should be "respected" as an elder instead. As children, we sometimes went overboard - to this day, I maintain that my hair-trigger temper and stubborn nature were due to my almost daily clashes with him as children. He maintained that I was born a chili-padi.

( Me & My Nephew ... )

A 7.6 magnitude earthquake off the coast of Sumatra caused our office building to shake for a couple of minutes yesterday evening, around 6:30 pm or thereabouts. I thought I was falling sick (not surprising given how tired I have been recently), and am having a dizzy spell, but after a while it just didn't feel right.

It wasn't the first time we felt tremors from earthquakes in Sumatra. I recalled the first time it happened, it was slightly before lunch time and we had to evacuate the building and mill around outside the building (I remembered one of my friends protesting as her boyfriend dragged her out, "my email, I need to finish my email, client is expecting it before lunch!" and when she was downstairs and outside the building, "can we go back now? I need to send out my email." and her boyfriend hushing her)  Just when we returned from an early lunch, however, another set of tremors shook the building, and the management decided to declare a half day holiday - I stayed on in the office because I had work, and also because I had class later in the evening. My head of department appeared at the door to my office and asked me to go home - I am not sure if it is out of concern or because the firm wanted to avoid any liability should the building collapse while I am still inside.

The second time it happened was an evening, around 7 pm or so. And I was darn miffed because I was trying to finish an advice and go on study leave thereafter (it was close to my exams). My room-mate had to pull a protesting me out of the office and I was grumbling all the way because the security guards will not allow us to return to the building until it has been verified to be sound, which took an hour or so. You should see how many lawyers were panicking over unfinished work on the lawn outside the building - especially the litigators who have court deadlines. 

( The First Time We Were Afraid, The Second Time We Were Cheesed Off, The Third Time .... )

A friend of mine has just came back from a trip to South America, and I was peppering her with questions (safety, quality of the tour companies etc etc).

She said that she joined a couple of friends who are spending a year travelling and sent me the link to their blog.

I clicked my way through and scrolled through their many pages - they went North America before going down to South America. And you know what? I am so envious. Not because they have the chance to do something like this, but that they had each other to do it with. I consider myself quite self-sufficient and independent most of the time, and I know that I lead a rich and purposeful life, but I must admit, there are days when I wish I have a companion to share all my experiences with. It is strange, there are days when I think one other person within sight is one person too many, but there are days when I really wish there is someone there with me.

Do you think, do you think I can bring a dog with me to South America (or get one in South America) and have it accompany me on my entire trip? The only problem here is what happens when we return - my mum detest dogs, cats, rabbits (i.e. any pets other than fish), and had more than once told me and my brother (whenever we requested for a cat or a dog) to choose between her or the prospective pet. Thus far, we have chosen her ...

 If you love Singapore too much, first it will break your heart, then it will break your soul.

The above statement has been attributed to Alfian Sa'at, often referred to as the enfant terrible of Singapore's literary scene.

I love Singapore, it is a love that needs no justification, nor any explanation. I grew up here, it is my home, and the home of my family and many of my friends. It is the only home I have ever known. How can I not love her?

And yet, today, when I was doing my usual rounds of blog-surfing, I came across a blog post that commented on an advertisement for a job-opening. This is the advertisement, which is for a Sales Development Engineer:



Did you read the last line? It stated "Preferably non-Singaporean (PR welcome)"

I cannot even being to say all the things that are wrong with this and what it tells us about our country. All I can say is, when I read that line, I felt something break in me. And the line by Alfian Sa'at came to mind.

I spent the evening at Changi Village Boardwalk (again!), though this time round, I brought my Nikon D90 instead of my Fujifilm S9600 for the photography session. I am having problems with the auto-focus and had to use manual-focus for many of the pictures which is a challenge to say the least. I need to go back to my manual to figure out where I had gone wrong.

Nonetheless, it was a fun trip, I was also fiddling with my B+W ND110 filter, which was quite a cool toy as it allows me to stop down by 10 stops, and therefore boats etc that passed by while I was taking a photo simply did not appear in the final photo - how awesome is that?

I had a few fairly decent photos that I have embedded into this post below (after the LJ cut) for everyone's enjoyment. Please be patient and wait for the photos to load fully.

( Click for Photos! )

 

A surprisingly high proportion of my friends, particularly my good friends have birthdays in July, August and September, which partially accounts for me being quite broke during this part of the year, every year. This period this year has been a particularly busy period for me, work-wise, and for many of my friends as well. As such, I am afraid I did not get to spend time with each and every one of my friends whose birthday falls within this period. 
 
I know I am sounding really sentimental these days - perhaps it is a sign of old age - but as all of us scatter further and further to all corners of the world (both literally and metaphorically) to pursue our individual dreams and goals, it has become (and I suspect will continue to remain) more and more difficult to keep in touch. Nonetheless, it is my hope that all of us will remember the times we have spent together - learning and growing with all the attendant laughter and tears - and that as and when we meet again, we will be as comfortable with each other as we ever had. And perhaps one day, even if we never meet again, you may rock your grandchild on your knee, and tell them stories of grandma (or granddad) and dear old Aunty Euterpe.  

My wishes to all of you:  

May today there be peace within.
May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others.
May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content with yourself just the way you are.
Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.

I met up with three very good friends today for brunch, friends who I knew back from my secondary school days. We were secondary school classmates, and three of us (one couldn't make it) backpacked Europe together back when we were 21 years old. Since then, we have travelled together occasionally, and we have always made it a point to meet up at least twice a year - once during our birthdays (usually August since our birthdays traverse July, August and September), and once during Christmas or New Year. Usually though, we meet up more often than that - for a quick lunch on working days, a dinner if it so miraculously happen that we are able to knock off from work while the restaurants are still open, for some shopping on a Friday evening, just to chill out at the park, for a concert or, when we were feeling particularly health-conscious, for brisk walks and runs.

My secondary school years were not my happiest - simply put, there was a serious mismatch between my personality and the school culture. When I left at the end of four years, I was determined to leave it all behind me, sever all my ties so as to speak. I chose a junior college far off the beaten track where I knew none of my classmates, and very few of my schoolmates will go. I chose a course that I knew none of my science-and-maths-mad and Mandarin speaking schoolmates will ever dream of signing up for. I had good friends in my secondary school - these three girls among them - but I wanted to leave everything behind and start afresh. It was for the best, I thought.

My friends did not think so. They left me alone for a while - for the full two years that I was in junior college in fact. I hardly heard of them, let alone see them, so different were the social circles that we were then moving in. I wouldn't say that I miss them terribly during those two years because while I do think of them occasionally, I was enjoying myself immensely in junior college. However, my friends got back in touch with me when we entered university, and it was as if we had never been apart.

They gave me my space when I needed space to recuperate, and once they figured that I have sulked enough, they came after me, grabbed me and held on.

We are four very different girls, but somehow we became very good friends. I never knew what I did to deserve such strong and steady friendships, but I give thanks every day that I have them. Thank you my dears, and here's to the next 17 years of friendship (and more!)

P.S. I am leaving this unlocked since I know you girls read this sometimes.